Christmas is nearly upon us and A-Typical is more than a year old! I know we didn’t celebrate our anniversary and I would tell you it’s because we don’t care about anniversaries but truth be told, we forgot. We also don’t really care for anniversaries.
We’d like to take us remembering as an opportunity to thank all who read and have read our blog. Thanks to all that follow us, we hope to keep y’all entertained with A-Typicalness. We almost celebrate the end of 2016 and thank God for that. 2016 wasn’t the most pleasant year. But before we celebrate 2017: Christmas.
I love Christmastime. I love the music, the lights, the food and the movies. Now, I know there are some Scrooges out there and hey; I respect that. Of course there are also those of you out there that don’t celebrate Christmas for cultural reasons for example.
You don’t have to celebrate or love it to experience it though. And you don’t have to love it to love every aspect of it. Here are 7 things you are not looking forward to this Christmas, even if you love the merry holiday:
Because who likes cleaning? Christmas is messy. Decorating the Christmas tree and making your living room a nice, festive place is great of course. But cleaning it up is a lot less pleasent than putting it up. It’s a burden to put the decorations away. If you have a real tree, your living room will be littered with pine needles and you will still be finding the darn things during Chinese New Year. Don’t forget having all that leftover food smelling up the fridge. Cold, garlicy food to greet your nostrils in the morning when you just want some damn milk for your cereal. You will question if all of this was worth it every year
- Family drama
Even if you love your family, there will likely be some drama. Maybe it’s your grandma being sour because you decided to celebrate Christmas with someone else this year trying to make you feel guilty for ruining her life, maybe it’s your cousin that really misses her ex-boyfriend’s company on this blessed day basically stealing Jesus’ thunder by sobbing the whole time or maybe your uncle’s dog took a shit on the couch. With Christmas you only get one day and one night. You simply can’t spend Christmas with your entire social circle.
- Christmas themed EVERYTHING
I like Christmas themed stuff. I don’t like that shops are trying to cram it into your face. Your Christmas themed sweater will be extremely irrelevant from December 26 to December 1st next year. That’s why giving someone Christmas-themed gifts for Christmast makes no sense. It’s very nice that you bought me that Santa mug but you already know I’m not drinking from that for another year. On a somewhat similar note:
- Christmas movies coming out on Christmas
I like Christmas movies, I fux with Die Hard big time. There probably won’t be a lot of masterpieces in this category but it’s nice and fun; call it a guilty pleasure. That being said, when there’s an interesting, new Christmas movie coming out, it never really comes out until Christmas. I know you could go to the cinemas where it will probably be viewable for the whole month of December, but there are a lot of other movies I’d see in cinemas before I go to a Christmas movie. So then you have to wait until it’s available some other way and by that time it’s probably February or March and there ain’t no way your Boy’s gonna watch a Christmas movie when he’s already preparing for spring. So then you basically have to wait a year for an hour and a half long movie.
- Accidentally summoning the Prince of Darkness, Satan
Santa’s name is very close to another iconic character’s name that is less jolly. It’s actually an anagram for a certain fallen angel (in the spirit if Christmas I’m trying to stay true to Christian lore). You better watch out your kids don’t accidentally summon the beast when writing a letter to Santa. Spell checking is important.
- Accidentally inviting Stan
Like I said, spell check and don’t forget letters either.
In retrospect these things are very much first world problems. That doesn’t mean we aren’t allowed to complain about that though. Like I said, we really like Christmas. At times it definitely can be a bit corny but some people can be overly dramatic about Christmas, like it’s this social prison that pressures you to spend time in jollyness with your family. Just roll with it.